12. The Frontal Lobe is Not In Tact

12. Talk to your Kids: The Frontal Lobe is Not in Tact

This We Believe (NMSA, 2010).

*Every student’s academic and personal development is guided by an adult advocate. Adult Advocate

Kids make bad choices. In the past week, we have had several incidences that would be great textbook examples of that detached frontal lobe phenomenon. The theory is that until our frontal lobe is fully intact (around age 25), we have the propensity to make poor decisions. This is not an excuse for our students; but it is a reality.

A student cussed out and flipped off the bus driver; another student flipped off a teacher; another was cussing under his breath, loud enough to be heard; another student was seen by a neighbor walking down the highway, on a school day, and this was the second day she was out; another student arrived at our school removed from his home by a court decision. Several students have revealed that they are “grounded” because of social media issues. Each of these students shows few disciplinary problems in school. They are well-liked, and are performing well in school. What we, as teachers, must realize is that just because a student is well-behaved, liked, and doing well, does not exempt them from making bad decisions.

The key is what to do about it. Our team leader came in earlier this week and said, “When ____ gets out of In-School-Suspension (aka – The Pit), we need to give him lots of love. He needs to know that we care about him and that we do not judge him for his slip in behavior.” She and I talked to him for about 10 minutes prior to classes. Our other team mates tag-teamed on the skipping student under the same approach. We are doing the same with all students who are making poor decisions, that we know about. This does not mean they are not being punished; it means we are letting them know we care about them and want them to make better decisions.

So far, working with them as a team has been positive.

Advice

1)   Students who have made bad decisions and who are in ISS (In-School-Suspension) or otherwise punished need to know that their teachers care about them. Do not assume that the punishment is all that needs to be said. Check in with your students.

2)   Find ways to have conversations with your students about their lives. This could be during advisory, or could be informal as a whole class or during individual conferences.

3)   ‘How is it going?’ is a good opening line for students. Be careful not to take sides against other people, teachers, parents, students, administrators, or community members. If a student wants to start verbally bashing a colleague, stop the conversation. The purpose of “how is it going” is to see how they are coping with their lives in a positive manner.