12. Joys and disappointments.

12. Joys and disappointments.

This we believe (NMSA, 2010).

* Every student’s academic and personal development is guided by an adult advocate. Adult Advocate

Last week, students who applied to 'Early College' were told whether they had been selected. (Early College is a magnet school that focuses on academics.) Two students in our advisory group were selected. The first came into my room and shared the news with joy and exuberance. She had come into the class to get her computer for her elective class and literally danced with joy. In the second hour, a small group of girls came in to work on their 'Earth Day' quilt piece. She did not tell me. Her friend shared the news that she had gotten into the program. While working on the piece they talked about going to her house that weekend to practice dancing for her 'fifteen' party. I have no doubt that both girls are elated to have been selected.

Later in the day, two other students shared they were not selected. One boy was loud and feisty. 'I didn't get in," he boomed to the class.  Another girl told me at the end of the day, privately, timidly.  Both have friends in other classes who were selected. Both are good students, both participate in activities and events, and both make good grades. I have no doubt that these two students are extremely disappointed.

As teachers, part of our job is to listen to words and actions. Disappointments are part of life. So are joys. It is often in middle school when disappointments begin. Students are very aware of those who have things and those who do not. It is clear, or perceived, who is popular, who is smart, who is pretty, who is accepted, who has talented, gifted, skilled, and who struggles. In a culture where 'everybody wins,' middle school is often where disparity of talents, skills, and opportunities are revealed.

On Monday, those who had been accepted were more subdued. Those who were not accepted, for the most part, were quieter.  Today is Tuesday. The environment is tense. In addition to Early College, some students were cut from the track team yesterday, and Color Guard tryouts, at the high school, ended with some 'making the team.' All of these students are part of my advisory.

While 'checking in,' students seem to be handling their joys and disappointments. This is where a 'mindful' campus and sensitivity toward students is needed.

I wrote the following on the board, '"May your successes be viewed as opportunities, and may your failures be viewed as beginnings."  I started class with time to reflect on these words.  At the beginning of the year I had students rate themselves using the character lab  growth card. Today we will reexamine those cards and set some goals for high school.

Advice

1.Check in with your students. Find out how they are feeling. Listen to them.
2. As a team, consider using the information, resources, and assessment tools, from characterlab.org. This website provides resources and information to help students develop personal characteristics related to: grit, social/emotional intelligence, curiosity, growth mindset, optimism, gratitude, purpose, self-control, and zest.
2. Communicate your observations with your teammates, counselors, and parents. As teachers, we are not trained to be counselors; thus, if students voice concerns, ask for help or send them to a counselor or administrator.
3. Remember that we all have disappointments; children, parents, teachers, and administrators. As educators we must be more than content specialists. We need to take care of one another and ourselves.